Disclaimer: This is more of a personal post.
The more and more exposure I get in this industry, the more and more I realize what bitches some people can be, especially when they have a monitor and anonymity to protect them. Over the years, as I’ve come more and more into the fold, I’ve experienced more and more bad behavior by folks.
I’ve been betrayed and fooled by “friends” in this industry, but mostly behind closed doors and even though some people running their mouths with nonsense has probably caused some people to form mistaken opinions of me, believe it or not, I try to turn the other cheek, on a personal level, and be the bigger person, as much as I can. People will find out the truth on their own eventually.
I rant and rave and voice myself on public matters, but I don’t air behind the screen drama in public, even when I’m not at fault or have been wronged. And if I do bring public criticism to an actual human being, I try my best to stay focused on the business related issue at hand and steer clear of their personal being. But either way, if I do say something, I do it under my own name. Signed, notarized and personally delivered. Not only that, but I’d have the balls to discuss it with you in person.
And as much as I can take other people’s insecurities being thrust at me in the form of anonymous verbal attacks online, sometimes, frankly, it gets hard. Partially because I don’t like
pussies bullies (aka, people who need to prop themselves up on putting other people down) and partially because I know 99.9% of them wouldn’t have the balls to say shit to my face.
But I guess the big mistake I made when making the (now questionable) decision to be a bit more public, was thinking that I could be a “public person” in any arena and expect that some people wouldn’t act like total asshats.
But, when people talk about me on a personal level, people who don’t even know me – as a woman and a mother (oh, yes, someone went there), from the anonymity of their computer, my first reaction is “fuck this shit and fuck these people, I don’t need to put myself through this”. If I had the ability to instantly react, my blog, twitter account, speaking profiles and every shred of information related to me in this industry would – *poof* – be gone.
But, as I think about it for a few days, I look at the younger generation of women in this industry and realize that backing down is letting them down in addition to letting myself down. No one, especially not an anonymous bully, has the right to push us into a corner or tell us who we can and can’t be.
So to all the anonymous asshats, I have a few things to say:
- If I don’t act how you expect a “girl” to act, then maybe you shouldn’t try to shove women (be you a man or a woman) into some stereotypical profile.
- If I make you insecure in your manhood, get a bigger pair.
- If I make you feel insecure in other ways, see a counselor and work on your own self esteem.
- If you can’t handle me dropping the F-bombs on a regular basis, then unfollow, unsubscribe, don’t read and don’t listen. Last I checked, no one had your eyes pinned open and your browser stapled to Sugarrae.com.
- And lastly, if you get pissed at people voting for me because I asked them to, get off your ass and work hard to make your own fucking ass friends/connections/business acquaintances like I have the last ten years.
Maybe at some point in time I’ll regret some things I’ve said in my life and in my career. But if I ever do, I’ll man up, admit it and move on. I’m not perfect. I make mistakes. I’m not afraid of being wrong. What I am afraid of is wasting what little time we have on this earth being who you think I should be and not being who I think I should be.